Monday, August 31, 2009

Nightmares

When I was a child, my nightmares usually involved the supernatural. At age five, I had a dream that I heard noises in my garage. Inside, was a giant Siamese cat that wanted to kill me. Later, when I was a teenager, vampires would chase me with needles. Then there is that pesky dream where I go to an island on vacation and a Tyrannosaurus Rex tries to eat me. Thank you, makers of Jurassic Park.

But lately, it seems I am done with childish dreams of monsters and the undead. Now, I have something even more terrifying to fear: Going back to school.

There are several scenarios that haunt my mind at night. Most of them involve the first day of school. Many factors play a role, but there is usually some combination of the following:

1. I can't find my classroom and wander aimlessly through the halls searching for it.
2. One or more students refuse to behave.
3. I forgot to make the handouts and have nothing to teach.
4. A parent has decided to observe me and I am unprepared. (This one is particularly upsetting)
5. I arrive late and forgot the key to my classroom.
6. I forgot to wear a key piece of clothing . . . like my pants.

There are more, but I won't bore you with the details. Regardless, when did reality become scarier than the unimaginable? I'd like to think that if I were face to face with a vampire, I would be more frightened than if faced with a classroom full of students, but my dreams tell me otherwise. This change baffles me.

Dreams of monsters - 0
Dreams of students - 100

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Game Time


This game is called: Can you find the Dove bar soap?
Please try to ignore my messy cabinet. Let's just focus on the soap.

A Good Looker

You might think based on the title of this post that I'm referring to someone who is very attractive. But you'd be wrong.

I'm talking about people who are good at looking for things and finding them. I have very few talents in this world, but I happen to be a good "looker". For example, when I was at the beach this summer, four people searched high and low for the remote control, but finally declared that it had disappeared and that is was time to buy a new one. I found it in about three minutes. It was under the couch, by the way.

One person who is a terrible "looker" is my husband. It is OK if I tell you this because he already knows he is awful at finding things. I can't tell you the amount of times he's told me that he cannot find the kids' shoes anywhere, and I locate them in about a minute. It really happens quite frequently.

But today's "finding" story is worth mentioning.

As I was leaving the gym, my husband called me and asked me to stop by the store and buy more bar soap. I was confused. Only one week ago I bought a package of six soaps. Surely we didn't use them that quickly. He assured me he'd looked for them and could not find them. Luckily, however, I know my husband very well and said, "Just because you couldn't find the soap doesn't mean it isn't there." He gave a half-hearted laugh, but I could tell he thought the soap was all gone and that my search would be futile.

When I got home, I walked upstairs and opened the cabinet doors under our bathroom sink. There, in plain sight, right in the front, was the soap. Five bars of soap, to be exact. So I did what any normal human being would do. I called him upstairs just to rub it in.

"Do you see the soap?" I asked, pointing to the cabinet.

He looked closely. "Yes," he said rather sheepishly. "But it is on the left side. I usually keep it on the right."

Mystery solved.

Beth - 1
Mike - .5 (just because his answer made me laugh)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Weddings

These are my friends Chris and Elena. Thanks for reading my blog. Love you guys.
This is my Dad, getting his groove on.
This is me, dancing with Buck-town
This is my beautiful sister and her new husband.

My sister got married on Saturday.

It was a beautiful ceremony. I'd like to share some of the highlights with you. To begin, my daughter ran into a table two days before and was sporting a rather impressive bruise on her right cheek. The mark will forever be immortalized in the pictures. We'll be explaining we don't beat our child for the rest of her life.

The kids behaved pretty well during the ceremony. My son only dropped the cheap $20 digital camera I bought him about 51 times. He chose rather opportune moments, like when my sister was saying her vows or during the priest's homily. He accompanied each drop with a loud "Uh oh!" Once, when his voice took on a higher pitch and a temper tantrum was within our midst, my grandmother took his hand and said, "Honey, you can't be loud in church. You'll make God cry." I'm fairly certain everyone heard her.

My husband sat with the kids in the pew behind me. Several times I turned to check on him and he was wiping the sweat from his brow. The pit stains went away after we left the church, children in-tact. He deserves the title of "Daddy of the year".

The reception was lovely. The food was amazing and the ambiance was perfect. It only took four drinks to calm me down before my speech. Despite the fact that my heart was threatening to leave my body, I held it together and delivered my speech without a hitch. After that, I was able to relax and have fun. I caught up with old friends. The DJ played Love Shack, and I got my groove on. Our friend, Buckley, sang along with Journey's Forever Yours later in the evening. It was a blast.

The party continued after the reception. Nineteen of us crammed into a shuttle built for ten on the ride back to the hotel. Every girl sat on a lap and a few people were sitting in the trunk. We took over the hotel bar. My uncle, just slightly inebriated, started to whip out his credit card and offer to pay for all the drinks. Luckily my mother slapped a hand over his mouth and stopped him.

At about midnight my aunt bought me nachos. I demolished them.

My sister looked stunning. I now have a great brother-in-law. What a fantastic evening!

Beth - 1
Wedding - 1
Beth's speech - stole the show. maybe.