Thursday, June 17, 2010

Shaking It

I've discovered Latin Fusion.

Latin Fusion is a great new aerobics class at my gym. I hate working out, but I don't mind doing Latin Fusion, which is something I never thought I'd hear myself say. It is a great mix between aerobics and Latin dancing. I get to shake my hips, swirl my arms, bounce around and gyrate in all kinds of interesting and fun ways.

If this seems like an odd topic to post about, hang in there.

See, my students have also discovered that I've discovered Latin Fusion.

My students are my "other" children. I see them almost every day. I teach them about literature, about life and about morality. I care about them a great deal. That being said, I do not want them to see me during Latin Fusion class.

If you wonder why, please see the sentence above that begins with "I get to shake . . ."

Yet another reason most teachers do not live where they teach. It's the reason why animals don't s*#t where they sleep. Too messy. Too undesirable. Too embarrassing. Foolishly, I thought all my modesty was gone when I gave birth in front of a doctor and two nurses who were complete strangers. This brings exhibitionism to a whole new level.

Beth - 0
The show, courtesy of Beth - 1

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Bathrooms Are For Suckers

My son has discovered a new use for nature. Why use a bathroom when you can pee outside?

Silly me. I went my entire life without realizing this while he learned it in three short years. I blame myself. About a month ago, we had a bathroom emergency on a road trip and pulled to the side of the road so he could go to the bathroom outside. Joseph found this fascinating. What a unique concept. Peeing outside was liberating!

Now, he wants to pull over whenever we are in the car to go on the side of the road.

Yesterday, we refused and insisted he wait till we reached our destination, which was Fairfax Corner. They have an interactive "water feature" where water shoots up from the ground. The kids love playing in the "fountain". When we arrived, Joey said he no longer had to go to the bathroom. I foolishly took him at his word.

While Mike went to pick up a pizza, I applied sunscreen to Jillian. I turned around in time to see that Joey had dropped his pants around his ankles and was peeing on the bricks.

Joey didn't understand why I was upset. He explained that he had to go, and we were outside. What was the problem? A man sitting nearby was laughing hysterically. A woman with a little girl gave me a dirty look. I grabbed Joey and hurried back to our table,hoping no one else had noticed. We had a long talk about public exposure, and how using the bathroom was polite because only animals went potty outside.

I thought my lecture did the trick, until we got home and I caught him peeing outside on the lawn.

Nature as a potty for my son - 1
My incredible lecturing abilities - 0