Sunday, October 2, 2011

Real Parents

My husband and I had a particularly rough day with the children.  For the record, we are establishing some new rules, but we've also decided that people without kids (and some with) are under the assumption that parents know exactly what to do. 

This is representative of our crazy household
Mike and I disagree.  We fully admit that we have no clue what we are doing.

Therefore, we've come up with a list of things real parents do.

1.  Real parents let their daughter wear a tutu or their son wear his Batman costume to the grocery store to avoid a fight.
2.  Real parents yell at their kids in front of company.
3.  Real parents let their kids watch Spongebob.
4.  Real parents let their kids fight . . . to a certain extent.
5.  Real parents hold late-night conversations where they question their abilities.
6.  Real parents let their sons pee on the side of the road without question, and support their son's assertions that his "thingy" has grown because he is drinking milk.
7.  Real parents sometimes let their kids sleep in the bed with them, especially when they are too tired to get up.
8.  Real parents offer to coach soccer teams when they hate soccer.
9.  Real parents don't want to get up before 7:00 to cook breakfast for their children.
10.  Real parents don't get up before 8:00 on weekends to cook breakfast for their children.
11.  Real parents forget to return library books and end up owing $40 fines.
12.  Real parents will order a $14 mini-slider maker to ensure their child receives the next prize up in their fundraiser.  Estimated value of said prize:  $3.
13.  Real parents are too tired to move their child back to their bed at 2:00 a.m.
14.  Real parents are too tired to move their child back to their bed at 4:00 a.m.
15.  "                                                                                            " at 6:00 a.m.
16.  Real parents reward themselves with a shot of Jim Beam Red Stag for successfully putting their children to bed before 8:30 p.m.
17.  Real parents hug each other and laugh (cry) when they realize they have no clue what they are doing.

There are many more, but it is late and I need to go to sleep because either the children or the dog will have me up by 5:30. 

Mike and Beth - 1
Parenting - 0 (with a possible +1 in the future)

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