Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Cold Cut Fear

I'm afraid of the people behind the deli counter at my Giant grocery store.

We used to have a decent relationship.  I would ask them for a pound of thinly sliced turkey, or 3/4 pound of honey ham.  Sure, they wouldn't actually smile at me, or overtly appear to enjoy their job in any way.  And really, who can blame them?  They slice meat for a living. 

But our somewhat harmonious acquaintanceship disappeared the day my husband complained about the ham I brought home.  It turns out, he likes his ham to be "shaved" or "chipped", which is the thinnest form of slicing possible.  Seeking to please him, I made my merry way to Giant, list in hand. 

This ham is mad, just like the
deli counter people. 

When I reached the deli counter that fateful day, however, everything changed. 

Apparently, asking for shaved ham is the equivalent of asking them to swing by their knees from the rafters in their underwear, for I was given the dirtiest look imaginable from a human being when I made the request. 

I was taken aback.  Had I said something wrong?  The deli person went extra slow that day, scowling first at the ham that was chipping onto the paper, then at me.  He slapped it on the scale, shoved it in the bag and walked away without asking if I wanted anything else. 

At first I thought maybe he was just having a bad day, so dismissed the odd behavior.  When I returned a week later, however, I received a similar reaction from a different deli person. 

In short, they really hate me. 

I can see it in their eyes when I approach.  "Shaved Ham Girl" they might call me behind my back.  Or something worse.  I don't know.  All I do know is that I am terrified of them now.  

When I ask for shaved ham now, I turn into a shadow of myself, often making the request quickly, then turning as if to examine the cheeses behind me, just so I won't see their evil stares.  

Call me a wimp if you want, but I dare you to try it.  You'd be afraid too.

Beth - 0
Deli Counter People - 1
Shaved Ham - 0 

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