Thursday, March 21, 2013

Siren Pacific

Well, I finished my third novel. 

I'm pretty happy with it and am in in the final stages of editing.  However, the first (and shortest) chapter of my book is 100% complete.  So, I'm going to share it with you today.  I'm ready for your honesty.  Give me the truth.  If it sucks, tell me.  If you like it, great. 

For the record, most of the novel is from the point of view of my female protagonist; however, this chapter, along with a few others, are told from the killer's point of view.

Gulp.  Here we go.

Beth - ?
Book - ?
Beth's Anxiety - 1

Chapter One
The young woman did not sense his approach because she was singing.    At the bottom of the beach where water meets sand, she stood, pale arms outstretched as she paid homage to the ocean.  Despite the cool night air, she wore only a light dress which billowed about her legs as the wind played around her body.  She was tall and elegant.  The waves swept at her feet and, in the dark night, she almost glowed. 
            Not affected by her demon song, Ortho crept forward, his feet sinking in the sand with each step.  Though her melody would hypnotize most, he found it grating and offensive, the bumps on his arm not due to the temperature, but rather an unpleasant reaction to hearing her sing.  To him, there was nothing appealing about the music that left her lips.  It sickened him, the song, carried by the wind to his ears, making his only thought to end it, to stop it in the most horrifying way imaginable.  He felt his hands shaking with excited violence as he grew nearer.  She was oblivious to his presence.  The creature thought she was safe, that her repulsive chant would shield her from harm, and her ignorance made him quiver with power.   
            One step, then another, and when he was almost close enough to grab her tousled hair she turned, startled by his presence.
“I’m sorry,” she said, smiling at him.  “I didn’t know anyone was nearby.” 
His lip curled as he took a step forward.  The woman hesitated, taking a step away from him, towards the sea. 
“Did you hear me singing?” she asked.   
Ortho raised the knife.
            In one swift movement she turned and propelled herself forward towards the ocean, her protector.  He heard her gasp, watching her body tense as her long legs pushed away from the sand, but he was equally quick and lunged, catching her white dress and yanking it down so that she plunged, face first into the sand.  She fought back, kicking and clawing, slamming her foot into him, but he darted to the left to avoid the impact and grabbed her legs.  With her lower body immobilized, she clawed at the sand with her slender fingers, as if it could provide the leverage she sought.  Her breath came out in ragged sobs, and she screamed. 
            Vice-like, his fingers dug into the tender flesh of her leg, pulling her underneath him, causing her to cry out in pain and fear of the inevitable.  He could see from her expression that she thought he would violate her, as if he would defile himself with such a beast.  Simply touching her skin was so revolting that he felt the bile rise in his throat.  Her flesh was smooth on the outside, but he knew underneath it was scaly and reptilian.  There was nothing appealing about the creature that dwelled under her appealing facade. 
            The woman put her hands out to ward him off, but he grabbed them, and pushed them over her head into the sand.  Demon or not, she was no match for his strength; she sobbed harder now, crying out in pain and fear.
            “Let me go!” she begged, stretching her free arm towards the sea, as if it could give her salvation.
He was unaffected by her pleas for him to stop.  She would not get away because he was meant to kill her; to kill each and every such beast on the Earth. 
It didn’t take long to subdue her.  Ortho carved a large, jagged letter ‘O’ in the woman’s chest using his thick blade, just after he removed her vocal chords. 

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